Does the following sound familiar, or is it something you would like to avoid …?
Brad makes some muffins from a recipe he saw on the internet. He’s proud of them and everyone enjoys them so he makes more and begins to make other confectionary. He loves his own cooking and eats more than his fair share, but not so much as anyone notices.
However, the extra food makes Brad feel sluggish at night. He wakes up a bit groggy, which makes him cranky. The crankiness and sleep deprivation begin to impact his work performance. He’s less productive, and as a result, gets discouraging feedback from his boss. By the end of the day, he feels dissatisfied with his job and his energy level is way down. All of this makes him reach for more comfort food – unreleased stress has a way of doing this.
The overall lack of energy makes Brad less likely to take walks with his wife, like they used too. He just doesn’t feel like it. She misses their time together and takes his withdrawal personally. With fewer shared activities with his wife and an absence of fresh air and exercise, Brads not getting the endorphin release that had helped make him feel upbeat and enthusiastic. Because he’s not as happy, he starts finding fault with himself and others, and stops complimenting his wife. As his own body starts to feel flabby, he feels less self-confident, less attractive and becomes less romantic.
Brad starts to loose himself in late night TV, because it’s easy and distracting. Feeling his distance, Brads wife starts to complain and express how she feels. She’s lonely. She pours her energy into her work and spends more time with her girlfriends to fulfil her need for companionship.
Extract from the excellent book “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy.
Couples martial Arts taught at Marsden’s is taught as a shared fun activity where you are not a couple, not responsible for each other but both are ‘students’ learning exciting self-defence together, individually but together, bringing back the sense of fun and care free time with a purpose, sharing personal time together. Just your time together, no one else’s, just yours.